pleasantly surprised

11/8/2002:
good day today. feels like a pleasant summer afternoon back home. the last few days have felt like this, as we move into the dry season. these transitions between seasons here are great. such pleasant weather.

my APCD paid me a visit. a "how are you?" visit, as he put it. but we talked about quite a few things. in fact, i'm really very happy with the entire thing. go figure! between this visit today and my talk with the CD, our administration is actually being receptive/responsive.

i was pleasantly surprised by my APCD today. the things he said about the teacher training program i would've never expected from him. same man i had that conversation with in Yaounde a few weeks ago? it's like night and day.

i guess he'd heard it from enough people (and seen it himself in Nkambe, at least) that our teacher training program... well, sucks. to put it a little less than technically. i vented about students, teachers and school admin. he listened. talked, too, of course. and i even asked and got answers to long-time questions:

1. Q: why not primary school PCV teachers? A: because we're over-qualified, capacity building is low, and their needs too great or numbers too big.
2. Q: why not educational consulting PCVs working in an entire town at various schools? A: because we'd have to work with a local delegation office (Lord no!) and need PCVs with skills which aren't easy to find.

these aren't absolute/final answers... but they were good to hear, regardless. i still think we could diversify our approach, and take PCV placement case-by-case. placing some here, some there. according to their skills. that's probably tough to manage, though. they are thinking about placement in technical schools. SARs [i've forgotten what this acronym stands for?], too. but who'll have those skills coming in? anyway. at least i got decent answers. acceptable. and no doors shut.

i'm telling you! this was a different man. i wonder if the CD spoke with him? he even copied down the numbers i showed him on NW/SW TTC [teacher training college] admissions. he said he'd take them to MINEDUC [education ministry] in Yaounde and speak to the man in charge of TTCs/ENIEGs. ask him why they're so low and what they're going to do, if anything, to change that.

so he'll get it from the horse's mouth, instead of all this local speculation about whether the government will or will not do anything about our situation. no assimilation. low attendance. low motivation. if not apathy. too many teachers. i'd love to hear what this man in charge has to say about all that. i'll have to follow-up with my APCD.

hmmm... we also spoke about extension. transferring to Morocco, 1st. extending up North, 2nd. he'd hoped i'd entertain staying on as PCVL [peace corps volunteer leader] in Bamenda. ummm... no. i don't know??? all that - transferring, extending, etc. - seems distant now. a remote possibility. what changed? me, family, grad school? God knows.

get this. my APCD even told Auntie that if she didn't get more students next year, no PCV. i think she just won't get a PCV, regardless. we went out to visit GBSS [govt bilingual secondary school]. my APCD knows the principal there well. seems they were classmates. seems he had a PCV in Bafmen before. even asked my APCD to send another his way. good for him. i'm going to strongly recommend one. will fill out the site prospective form in december, insha'Allah. after i do some more research on the school.

i hope to be as blunt with Auntie as my APCD was today. should've seen how deferential she was to him! really, though... why do we humor her? protocol, yes. but i should just tell it like it is. i ain't gonna lose a job. she needs to hear why she (not she, our school) isn't getting a PCV. it's complicated. a shame, also. i don't want to see us pull out of training teachers completely. to lost that capacity building. maybe things will change? in other schools, if not ours.

so my APCD is leaving that option open. and the option for PCVs to teach at a TTC if they wish. he'll make a teacher training component available in PST [pre-service training]. albeit limited. i doubt secondary school teachers will look for more teaching hours at their local TTC, though. and vice-versa.

so... some questions answered. some questions remain. all in all, i'm quite satisfied.

we just put the rain gauge up

10/26/2002:

• string for magnet
• ice-water
• pH timer (20 secs)
  
• beaker
• significant digits: 0.0 or 0.00?

...this is the list of items for some GLOBE protocols. i met with a handful of students yesterday up at school. we installed the thermometer, rain gauge and took some cloud measurements. small is beautiful. students were saying that most of the m weren't around, and that we should postpone the meeting. i denied. 1st next week, then next month, then... you know how it is. just do it.

yeah... on that front. Maggie and i were contemplating the trek (Nkambe-Wum) as early as next week. before Ramadan. but i check say i no go walka [pidgin: i think i'm not going]. i'm afraid (and i know she's disappointed... a little) that i'm backing out. school commitments. i go shiddown fine for dis side [pidgin: i'm going to settle down here].

i've got books to mark before i go out to GHS [Govt High School] again to do GLOBE measurements. BTW, it stopped raining yesterday. well, at least it didn't rain for a day. the irony... we just put the rain gauge up.

the mosque project

10/12/2002:
went to ukpwa with mama this morning. sun is definitely getting hotter. the dry season may be on its way after all. but the rainy season is going out with a bang! for sure. roof has even started to leak again. but i digress...

was saying we were out in ukpwa. short visit. small is beautiful. and it was. we saw the mosque. mama liked it. sat down with Alhadji Bira [Ukpwa's elder] and the gang. Ali spoke about how the mosque project went. Mu'aath translated. Alhadji thanked mama. Mu'aath translated.

mama spoke about educating the women in the community, development coming from within in the next generation, and about documenting their people's history - the Fulbe. she'd asked about their origins. that of the people right there in ukpwa or this part of cameroon, at least.

Alhadji said something poignant. that in all the years since the Lake Nyos disaster and with all the people and organizations who've come to help, none of them have ever done anything for their community's faith. until mama. and they won't forget that. or her.

i was touched. as i'm sure she was. mama spoke fine [pidgin's expression for eloquent]. Alhadji spoke fine. Mu'aath translated.

the ride up

 

10/4/2002:
"Breeding Grounds" July 8, 2002 Newsweek ...good article on bushmeat/SIV/HIV.

back in Wum. short journey from Yaoundé to Bamenda yesterday. stopped a bit in Bamenda. safe journey to Wum. bad road. good car. John Fru Ndi's truck, to be exact. well, his wife's. Alhadji in Bamenda hooked that up. it cost a pretty penny, but was worth it.

mama enjoyed the ride up. impressed by how green things are now. i forgot she hadn't seen it like this. the contrast between dry and rainy season. this is probably a good time of year to visit. glad to have her here. still an exercise in patience, understanding and respect. that's good for me. she does so much. God bless her.

just need to carve out my own time for work. i'm sure days will become busy. it's almost 11pm now. didn't accomplish much today. Maggie did eat dinner with us, though. she had a good convo with mama. her and i also talked about family and friends.

tomorrow is Teacher's Day. not much planned. people couldn't meet on account of a ban because of October 1st. which passed without incident. mama and i will buy meat tomorrow. then i'll check out the [teacher's day] program.

here's a thought connected to what i just wrote in my peace & freedom journal... here's to saying all that we know, doing all that we say and, of course, thinking about all of that before we say and do.

becoming old

9/15/2002:

"...knowing means becoming old."

-Malidoma Somé

...so [my] gray hair comes from experience/wisdom, not age?

concerns

 
9/4/2002:
Mira finally got here. waiting, worrying all day. they left Babadjou at 11am, Bamenda at 11am and got here at 5:30pm. road is BAD. said she paid 2000cfa! says she'll be here for 4 days. ahhh... some concerns:

concerned about the road. it's really quite bad. Paul's father spend 16 hours on it yesterday. MUDDY MESS. 2000cfa.

concerned about the humidity. mold on my clothes. mold on the cane furniture. mold on the Maggi cubes. rocks for salt. wet laundry. basically the rainy season. i won't say i can't wait for the dry season... but i may be singing that song soon enough.

tomorrow we've got a staff meeting. concerned about the upcoming year. sooo much to do...

also concerned about how thin this paper is and how floppy the notebook!

concerned about how tired i am now... goodnight.

moving

 
6/23/2002:
i'm somewhere b/w Diamou and Kayes. the train has stopped. coming back up from Mahina [SW Mali, photo]. was there for a PCV 'HIV/AIDS Day' event. which went well.

this dynamic theater group that performed last night was great. drew a HUGE crowd! i was very impressed and quite entertained. great music and dance, too.

spent a couple nights in Mahina sleeping outside. still hot, but cooling off. rain not too far off. sometimes falling.

i'll be back (lunch break!) to write about another thought/emotion or two...

...right. bon appetit! actually a surprisingly good meal here on the train. rice & sauce. i prayed a shortened zhur [midday prayer] outside but no time for 'asr [afternoon prayer], b/c the train started moving again!

anyway... the thought was about the garden and this book i'm reading [2 Ears of Corn]. but i'll go there later. the emotion is, of course, about what all my emotions are about right now. and i'll go there later, as well.

heat rash

 

6/11/2002:
i've already developed heat rash. like 2 days ago already. on the inside of my arms (opposite my elbows) and a little on my chest. it's hot. not heat like i've never experienced in terms of intensity... it's the duration that's a problem.

all day. all night. it's hot. it just barely cools down at night. and that's the problem. the day's heat slows you down, yes. but the night's heat wears you out. and week after week that's frustrating, exhausting and stressful. physically and mentally.

the kayes heat

 
6/9/2002:
there was more than a few times yesterday when i had to put stoicism aside and admit (at least to myself) that it was hot.

1st... as soon as i stepped out in the afternoon and turned the corner, i met with this gust of wind... can you believe that even the breeze here is intolerably hot? it was like a blow-dryer in the face.

2nd... right before bed, i passed out on a small mattress in the living room. i woke up to go to the roof and sleep a little later and my thigh/arm areas were clearly visible as sweat marks on the mattress. they still are. nasty hot.

3rd... sleep on the roof is tolerable, if only b/c it's a relatively cool day. yet one still has to keep drinking water. at one point i was having a tough time sleeping, so i wasn't thinking about drinking (just itching!)... i woke up, not too long ago, with my tongue fat and dry in my mouth.

days are a continuous balance of sweating and drinking here... all without peeing! with that kind of dynamic equilibrium who needs to urinate?

just a little, but a lot

6/5/2002:
in Bamenda... a few things to do here ($, email, Dr. and shave) before i leave for Douala. before too long, insha'Allah. came in late last night. finished marking exams around noon and filling my marks at school around 2pm. left teh house around 5pm. got in here @ 10:30pm.

yesterday, as i was leaving school (it had just rained... and has been raining hard in Wum) i found myself gently picking my way through the rivers of mud and down slippery paths. the rainy season is upon us. 1 year has passed.

i think back fondly of Babadjou. what comes to mind is that i perceive all this in different ways now. just a little... but a lot.

quick note on a moment of clarity... looking up at a poster here in Amity Bank and seeing the world "NOTRE" in french, i realized what Notre Dame [the cathedral & university] means. "Our Lady!" gotta love these moments of clarity.

autumn quail

5/9/2002:
finished Autumn Quail this morning. the 3 Mahfouz novels together (Beggar / Thief / Quail) are an interesting series... all about the Egyptian revolution [of 1952]. wish i knew/could read more about that particular period of history there. would be nice to know the events he refers to in the novels.

the last 2 (Thief and Dogs / Autumn Quail) are somewhat linked. people speculate that negative criticism on Thief, which is quite a critical/caustic commentary on the revolution and groups involved, drove Mahfouz to make Quail a little more positive/optimistic. at least in terms of how things may end up being for those involved in the revolution. especially those more or less "betrayed" by the events of that time.

the protagonist (Isa) ends up running after a character symbolizing all the positive things about the revolution. and, in fact, this alter ego. that the ending's a bit contrived leads people to say Mahfouz kinda bent to his critics and/or the political establishment. well... regardless, good book.

a strand that runs through Beggar and Quail that i found of interest was the once successful/wealthy/powerful protagonist who falls from his status into despair, apathy and depression. a total lack of passion and direction to equal only the total ambition and zeal before his fall from rank.

nihilism... is what the editor calls it. "3ala kaifak" [as you like] attitude. the world ain't right, so who cares. sad psyche. disturbing. Mahfouz probes it well. all too well.

wanted to leave the house. rain is falling though. heavy. cleaned the place this morning. think i got all the mice, insha'Allah.

the headmaster

cinco de mayo:
i'll take up the points from my tired outline above one at a time:

first... while holding a small debriefing at GPS [govt primary school] with our 3rd years a crowd of kids brought a bloody-faced class 2 student to the HM [Headmaster] Takwi Matthew. the man calmly asked to be excused as to take care of the situation.

he cleaned the boy up... who had a nasty cut on his forehead above the left eye after falling and hitting a pole. applied some iodine and bandaged the wound. he got some papers together and sent the boy to the hospital with his teacher.

unlike many others there, including teachers, the HM was calm, cool, quick and professional. really a pleasant surprise... and in sharp contrast to the nervous, confused and a little inept character of the teachers around. thank the Lord for leadership.

oh... rain came down HARD during our post-[teaching practice] conference there at GPS later that day. from 12 noon to 2pm. RAIN! actually missed Jum'ah [Friday Prayer].

smells like Babadjou

3/7/2002:
been raining again. hasn’t done so in over a week . dust was coming back. anywho... all is well now. clouds are back. forgot how beautiful and spectacular the formations are/were.

cool in the morning. a bit. fresh, if you will. even smells like Babadjou in the morning. definitely feels like it. funny how the rain does that... remind me of Babadjou. changes this place entirely.

i know i’ve written about this. it is too uncanny. and, like i said... Wum is much better suited to the tropics.

“oubanga”... Aghem for white-man ["outsider"]. just met a couple of them from the SIL group doing their stage here. American and Canadian.

and, of course, i’ve already forgotten their names. typical. couldn’t catch someone’s name if it hit me in the face. i shwear!

2 Worlds, 2 Wums

26th February, 2002...
it rained today. early afternoon and evening. places are “fresh” now, as people here would say. actually, it’s like a different world. climate totally changed the atmosphere, if you will. and i’m not the only one who’s happy about it. you can feel the energy in the air.

the rain did a lot... it feels/sounds/looks like the tropics again. no dust. no heat. clouds keep the sun at bay. wind keeps humidity lower. not low, but lower. all is good... i like the tropics. i like it hot and dry, too, but Wum is no desert. hot and dry without the serenity of open space is no good. so i welcome the rainy season. knowing full well i’ll be cursing the mud soon enough.

but mangoes will be here soon! that’ll keep me quiet for a while. and it’ll all be green before we know it. Wum is 2 different places, i’m telling you.

bugs awake, clouds forming

2/25/2002:
fresh, cool breeze blowing through Wum this late afternoon and early evening. and just last week i was thinking this place would soon turn into a desert. it’s humid now.

bugs and frogs awake at night. clouds forming in the sky. rain at Benakuma. must not be too far off here.

it’s getting hard to drink my necessary 5 or 6 cups of tea per day. humidity and all... can’t keep my shirt on, either. kinda like it though... feels like Africa [see comments]. the tropics.

Muaza says it won’t last. the heat, that is. rainy season can bring cold winds during the storms. like Santa, i guess... just not that cold.

all right... PEACE MUHAMMADU!

suddenly hot and humid

2/23/2002:
it’s hot and humid all of a sudden. like overnight. i’m SW [southwest province] sweating. strange. really so drastic of a change. rainy season is coming... sooner rather than later. the heat, clouds, insects and even thunder are all telling the same tale. gotta love these transitions.

gotta love the extremes. cannot believe Wum got this hot... and who ever heard of humidity before it even rained? no rain for months and it’s humid! was just saying last week that Wum town will soon become a desert if it doesn’t rain. now that looks like it’s right around the corner.

signs of the rainy season... extreme heat, strange humidity, everyone to and from the farm, the clouds and bugs at night. oh.. went to Muhammadu’s with Maggie today. HOT!... and we still drank tea!

subhan Allah!

2/16/2002:
...just finished with a 2-hour email session here in bamenda. wrote to the country director of peace corps morocco. God helep with that! seems like [an internship at the botanic garden in] Limbe this summer may be possible. got a positive reply from Dr. Ndam. only that the garden may be too wet during that season. rainy, that is.

anywho... i'll ened with one thought. Suhaibu [muhammadu & ibrahim's older brother] came to visit after Friday prayer in Wum yesterday. we talked about a bunch of things. we got into ethnic diversity among Muslims, among other equally interesting topics. at regular intervals, Suhaibu would marvel and say "God is so wonderful!" and say it so sincerely that it touched me.

subhan Allah is what i suppose he was translating... i like it! God is so won-duh-ful!

ambitious outline

i’ll begin this today/now just to begin. as usual, i’m tired. i’ll finish tomorrow, insha’Allah (God willing). i’d like to note the date (10/15/2002). the rain. my mother’s presence. her approaching absence. routine. apathy. holidays. home-stretch. among other things. OK, tomorrow...

OK, it’s tomorrow... and that’s quite an ambitious outline above. i go try. i’ll do it small-small:

the date: October 15th, that’s when everybody around here says the rain will end. last week, i doubted that highly. but, i must say, it finally looks like it’s on its way out. the rainy season. mama and i leave for Yaounde in a couple days. let’s hope the rain dries.

the rain: see above... one more note, however. not sure how they rainy season is like for you all. here it seems like on long (very long) and backwards March. in like a lamb, out like a lion. funny how things work here, ne’st-ce pas?

mama’s presence/absence: been great having her around. cooking. company. conversation. i haven’t stepped into the kitchen to make anything yet. and she came just in time for that... i was doing omelette shack specials and chocolate sandwiches all too often.

having mama just around the house is even better. i was getting lonely and homesick. the routine of wake-school-read-radio-sleep was getting tired. quickly. and speaking to mama about family, friends, history, politics, cross-culture... though not as in depth as last year has still been a relief and a blessing.

and now she’s leaving. Lord, the house will be quiet and lonely. i’ll be talking to myself again! in the mirror or in my journal. and cooking (or not cooking) for myself. Ramadan is fast approaching. Mohamad will be hurting in a week. no joke. ashia for me...

apathy/routine/home-stretch: i’ll do those ensamble. the 1st is how i find myself feeling about many things now. i don’t get as worked up. realism? pragmatism? fatalism? what’s in a name?

the 2nd is what i find myself falling into. just to make the time go by. life’s unpredictability is enough (b/w school, classes, roads, people, etc.)... i like a little order in life. although it’s not like me.

the 3rd is what i feel like i’m on. the long straightaway home, if you will. not sure how i feel about that. good or bad? maybe both? i’ll ponder that...

holidays: mama wants me (and the rest of our family) in Egypt this December. big reunion of sorts. i’d rather not. b/c of the 2 points above. how i feel when family leaves (or i leave family) and how i feel about our last few months here. her leaving is bad enough. i’m quite uncertain about going all the way to Egypt, seeing EVERYone and then coming back here. here...

thanks for reading.

aho!
Mohamad
10/15-16/2002
HERE!

PCV talk

it’s just Wednesday... guests are gone. it’s getting hotter in Wum. sun comes out during the day. much more rain at night. i miss the heat. i know i’ll be cursing the dry season soon enough. but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

speaking of bridges, the worst foot-bridge in Wum was just fixed! today. by a church group, plus the assistant mayor. newly elected. good stuff. baby steps. makes many people’s lives (including mine) easier. and i had absolutely nothing to do with it!

Todd and i had a few good conversations over the last 2 days. on development, PC Admin, gender roles, PCV life, etc... you know, typical Peace Corps Volunteer talk. what we always talk about. regardless, it helps.

gotta love that we [PCVs, our stage, Todd and i...] couldn’t be more different, in so many ways, yet with all this in common... Peace Corps, that is. and that makes all the difference. i’d like to think all of us are better listeners now, more open to varying view points and less judgmental with whom we befriend.

hmmm... enough PCV talk.

aho!
Mohamad
8/14/2002
Wum

fast or slow?

in Wum. Todd is here visiting. just came back from dinner at Maggie’s [my yet to be introduced agro-forester post-mate!]. what to say? not much... belly hurts. still getting over this amoeba thing. off the drugs but my stomach is still RUNNING.

we have less than 1 year left. strange, no? i try not to think about it. but when i do i can’t help but think that it’ll fly by. who knows... if anywhere life could move at a snail’s pace, it would be here.

these holidays seem forever long. still a few weeks until school starts. but then one thinks that the rainy season has almost come and gone... so which is it? fast or slow? I–DON’T–KNOW?!

aho!
Mohamad
8/13/2002
Wum