the fog of training

8/9/2001: (i’d like to write in here more frequently!)
sometimes, through this heavy fog that is pre-service training, the sun shines and brightens my day. not for too long though. and that’s too bad. i never feel like i don’t want to be here, but i often feel like i’d rather be somewhere else.

de temps en temps, all this changes as something (anything) shines through the emotional and mental tribulations and makes me smile. the hills and valleys of infinite shades of green, a beautiful sunset and a soft breeze, all the children on my street screaming “bon soir Muh-ham-med!” simultaneously, and really connecting with another person. a good person. PCT, PCV or HCN... regardless of those titles.

i’ve received two letters from mama these past 2 days. bless her. the first spoke of dealing with people as people... regardless of culture or faith. she also included a poem about traveling. both matters being so very relevant and timely. the second letter i’ve yet to read. will do tonight.

much else to do. cross-cultural presentation tomorrow. exams to prepare. a lesson. clothes. “small-small catch monkee,” as the saying here goes... it’ll all get done, slowly but surely.

i’m getting excited about Wum. we had a session about settling in at post yesterday. heard much about the first few days and weeks of adjustment. down-time. lack of necessities. a little depression... they gave it to us straight. difficult, but worth it in the end.

i worry a little. about myself and the others... some of us have been down for a bit. but i understand, too... we didn’t come out here for a cup of tea. the sun seems to shine a little brighter and the air smell a little sweeter after the clouds and rain. and there are many clouds and much rain here in this part of Africa.