follow through

Beatrice (2nd Year)
AppSci = 14/20 ...not 0!
EnvEd = 16/20

4/3/2002:
seem to have made a boo-boo on Beatrice's report card. she has 0 on her Applied Science mark for some reason. should be 14. will look into it. should also finish those ¼ reports. have to leave the students with some assignments for next week... while i'm in Yaounde again.

what am i doing here? why am i not doing? why am i not following through? being lazy. going through the motions. getting away with as little as possible. why can i sleep at night – that’s kinda dramatic... but how can i accept being/doing what i am out here?

gotta read – really read – that Yeide response. i continue to fail with perfection and, instead of adequacy, accept ½-a$%ed work... or worse yet, none at all. how many times do i have to have this conversation with myself?