Wednesday, September 24, 2008

present, patient peace & freedom

wum to yaounde was my last Peace & Freedom journal (PFJ) entry... i made it to Yaounde, then Kribi (where i saw many of my stage-mates at IST) and passed my journal on to Traci. it then went to Kay and ended with Natalie. her last entry in my PFJ is on May 13th, 2003.

to recap... my PFJ was a story within a story of sorts. moving much more quickly then my own personal journal b/c there was an entry per week, as opposed one every day or so. so we fast-forwarded through my second year, ending just shy of 2003.

what comes next? here's a preview: IST in Kribi, my trip to Egypt to visit family, and then a return to my last semester at the failing GTTC Wum and, what would ultimately be my last 4 months at post. happy and healthy? not always. in fact, there are 2 medevacs involved.

i'd like to say a few words about my tone in the PFJ entries... particularly, how it gradually becomes more - what to say? - bitter. that's a strong word. it's slightly bitter, somewhat jaded and much more matter of fact.

read the difference between the entries circa 9/4/2001 and those closer to 11/12/2002, if you didn't notice the difference. i probably turned the corner on this change in my second year of peace corps. which is always a milestone, no doubt. there are personal and professional reasons behind this, too.

it's not that i'm unhappy... just struggling. with being in wum. at the GTTC. and away from home for that much longer. on mediocre days, i'm just coasting... "on the long straightaway home." on bad days, i'm thinking "i can't quit now." on good days, i get glimpses of presence.

we'll be going back to early 2002 now... to pick up where we left off. my mother was about to leave after her first visit. we're in wum. i was asking wussai peace and freedom dey? patience and presence tells me it dey in the day to day. and the little things that kept me there.

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