PFJ = Peace and Freedom Journal. i mentioned these 'traveling' journals when i first described the sessions our training group started to hold in Babadjou during stage. after we left to our respective posts we couldn't meet every tuesday night, like we did in training. so we decided we'd share thoughts in our journals and then exchange journals every time we met.
i've been wondering how to incorporate these into the flow and timeline of my own journal entries, now at January 2nd, 2002... as you can see in the post below, the PFJ entries start back at September 4th, 2001. so i took the opportunity of answering my own rhetorical question (wussai peace and freedom dey?) to start from the beginning.
think of it as a flashback... then a flash-forward! a story within a story, if you will. there are about 35 entries in my PFJ that i'd like to share, from 9/4/2001 through 11/12/2002. all my own, b/c i won't be posting the entries my fellow volunteers shared in my journal (about the same number as i have) when it was in their possession.
finally, i've got a few more journal entries out there in PFJs that are no longer in my possession... my stage-mates' PFJs, that is. perhaps we'll all get together and talk (or blog) about it one day. another peace and freedom session. aho!
Showing posts with label stage-mates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stage-mates. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
limbe peace & freedom
12/18/2001:
Omar’s birthday today! wrote him a letter. i’d like him to come here. Limbe has relaly changed my outlook on Cameroon. realized how much i took the country for granted and how much i have to be grateful for. down here, up North and in Wum. i want people to visit. omar and a friend or two... still, i know, it’s intense. but if mama can do it, they can too.
...we just did Peace and Freedom here. at the Hotspot. amazing how quickly we jumped back into it. like old friends, it takes no time at all to realign, so to speak. it’s a beautiful thing, Peace and Freedom. how comfortable and free we are with our emotions. how open and receptive we are to each other. no judgments. just listen. empathize. understand. support with a presence... even when apart.
the bond there is so strong... and amazing in such a diverse group. a testament to how open-minded we were and continue to be. i think that keeps many of us here. me included. i love my stage... people i know i’ll never forget. good people. people i love for who they are inside. no judgments. on my part or theirs. acceptance. affection. sincerity. it’s beautiful.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
ndjinikum
8/28/2001:
got to do some email today in town. after we dropped Natalie off at post in Ndjinikum. beautiful place. surrounding hills are spectacular. town is quaint and had a real “Alps-sy” feel to it. like Geneva, Kay said. Nat’s got a great house. big and well built. really quite a nice place.
we met Nat’s landlord. nice man. lives down the street. a colleague. teaches physics. saw her school. unfinished. down in the valley, a little from town. 100 cfa fair along the main road. still cannot get over how quaint Ndjinikum was. great little town. i’m sure she’ll enjoy it. and hope she stays safe.
anyhow... we made it back into Bamenda. emailed. nice. ate and shopped a little more. peanut butter! all is well now. we leave for Wum tomorrow morning. early 8am.
got to do some email today in town. after we dropped Natalie off at post in Ndjinikum. beautiful place. surrounding hills are spectacular. town is quaint and had a real “Alps-sy” feel to it. like Geneva, Kay said. Nat’s got a great house. big and well built. really quite a nice place.
we met Nat’s landlord. nice man. lives down the street. a colleague. teaches physics. saw her school. unfinished. down in the valley, a little from town. 100 cfa fair along the main road. still cannot get over how quaint Ndjinikum was. great little town. i’m sure she’ll enjoy it. and hope she stays safe.
anyhow... we made it back into Bamenda. emailed. nice. ate and shopped a little more. peanut butter! all is well now. we leave for Wum tomorrow morning. early 8am.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
dschang morning
8/24/2001:
early morning. day of swearing in. got up around a ¼ to 5. slept a little past midnight. was out with a bunch of the trainee crew yesterday, from both babadjou and dschang. our CD bought us a drink after a 2-hour-plus griping session about training. feedback, no holds barred.
we then went over to the Phoenix. a restaurant here in dschang. took a while! i slept some. was patient. with the food. and the service. in terms of timing, that is. we ate late. left late. went to bed late. i just bit my tongue, though.
i suppose these next 2 years might be just that... an exercise in biting my tongue. all the better, perhaps. one can never gain enough patience.
Ibrahim was kind enough to let me use his room to pray in this morning. good man. generally speaking. wish i’d spent more time with him. sure we’ll see each other again. Ramadan, insha’Allah.
the sun is coming up on Dschang. there’s a heavy mist. rained in the evening so the trees and grass are still wet. birds are chirping away. it’s cool but comfortable.
early morning. day of swearing in. got up around a ¼ to 5. slept a little past midnight. was out with a bunch of the trainee crew yesterday, from both babadjou and dschang. our CD bought us a drink after a 2-hour-plus griping session about training. feedback, no holds barred.
we then went over to the Phoenix. a restaurant here in dschang. took a while! i slept some. was patient. with the food. and the service. in terms of timing, that is. we ate late. left late. went to bed late. i just bit my tongue, though.
i suppose these next 2 years might be just that... an exercise in biting my tongue. all the better, perhaps. one can never gain enough patience.
Ibrahim was kind enough to let me use his room to pray in this morning. good man. generally speaking. wish i’d spent more time with him. sure we’ll see each other again. Ramadan, insha’Allah.
the sun is coming up on Dschang. there’s a heavy mist. rained in the evening so the trees and grass are still wet. birds are chirping away. it’s cool but comfortable.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
never let go
8/21/2001:
another Tuesday night in Babadjou, but the last Peace and Freedom for a little bit. i went 1st and said only a few words. but then i was inspired (by what people said and read) to read the poem mama sent. in Arabic then a translation. i’m glad i shared. Greg explained his idea on continuing Peace and Freedom in written form. i think it’ll work. well.
we’re all to procure books and begin to write in them. anything. share experiences. write quotes. draw and/or paste pictures. whatever. just genuine. then, whenever we meet another stage-mate we exchange books and go on writing all the same. the books will be exchanged over and over... so everyone will have a chance to write in many of the books with or without getting their own books back. at COS (close of service) though, you get your book back. along the way you share and read, read and share experiences and we continue learning and growing from and with one another. wonderful! i love my stage.
Robert said something that i tried hard to remember today in his Peace and Freedom. something a friend wrote to him recently: “it must’ve been very hard for you to leave to Africa, but i didn’t see it.” indeed, how can you put such a myriad of emotions into words when whenever you try there’s a lump in your throat and tears in your eye? you swallow your emotions and hold back your tears as much as you can. on the outside you look stalwart. on the inside you’re crying out to be hugged, loved and never let go of.
that’s how i felt before leaving. now i’m here. glad i am though. in many ways glad i left, too. b/c i have a feeling that when i get back i’ll have a little better idea of how to express my emotions; how to cry, how to say i love you and how to ask to be hugged... and never let go.
another Tuesday night in Babadjou, but the last Peace and Freedom for a little bit. i went 1st and said only a few words. but then i was inspired (by what people said and read) to read the poem mama sent. in Arabic then a translation. i’m glad i shared. Greg explained his idea on continuing Peace and Freedom in written form. i think it’ll work. well.
we’re all to procure books and begin to write in them. anything. share experiences. write quotes. draw and/or paste pictures. whatever. just genuine. then, whenever we meet another stage-mate we exchange books and go on writing all the same. the books will be exchanged over and over... so everyone will have a chance to write in many of the books with or without getting their own books back. at COS (close of service) though, you get your book back. along the way you share and read, read and share experiences and we continue learning and growing from and with one another. wonderful! i love my stage.
Robert said something that i tried hard to remember today in his Peace and Freedom. something a friend wrote to him recently: “it must’ve been very hard for you to leave to Africa, but i didn’t see it.” indeed, how can you put such a myriad of emotions into words when whenever you try there’s a lump in your throat and tears in your eye? you swallow your emotions and hold back your tears as much as you can. on the outside you look stalwart. on the inside you’re crying out to be hugged, loved and never let go of.
that’s how i felt before leaving. now i’m here. glad i am though. in many ways glad i left, too. b/c i have a feeling that when i get back i’ll have a little better idea of how to express my emotions; how to cry, how to say i love you and how to ask to be hugged... and never let go.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
fond, familiar and friendly...
8/15/2001:
“...those are really the two main reasons i came to Africa; peace and freedom.” -Kay
1 more “Peace & Freedom” before IST. the name of our session grows on me more and more throughout training. Kay’s quote was great. her testimony, too. about being so close to us yet not really telling us about her real self. what she was like at home.
but what is your real self? i think we’re all still finding that out about ourselves. and that’s a BIG reason why we’re here.
Don Williams, Kenny Rogers and West Virginia!... never thought things so typically American would remind me of “home!” i’m truly finding out what home is here. the fond, familiar and friendly... country music and Wild, Wonderful!
i am, in so many ways, an American. yet in so many others i’m not. and “the fond, familiar and friendly” can be anywhere. maybe here, too??? insha’Allah.
“...those are really the two main reasons i came to Africa; peace and freedom.” -Kay
1 more “Peace & Freedom” before IST. the name of our session grows on me more and more throughout training. Kay’s quote was great. her testimony, too. about being so close to us yet not really telling us about her real self. what she was like at home.
but what is your real self? i think we’re all still finding that out about ourselves. and that’s a BIG reason why we’re here.
Don Williams, Kenny Rogers and West Virginia!... never thought things so typically American would remind me of “home!” i’m truly finding out what home is here. the fond, familiar and friendly... country music and Wild, Wonderful!
i am, in so many ways, an American. yet in so many others i’m not. and “the fond, familiar and friendly” can be anywhere. maybe here, too??? insha’Allah.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
is this peace corps?
8/11/2001:
did laundry this morning. that one light khaki cotton pair of pants is surprisingly tough to wash. sun was out bright, though, so at least everything (3 shirts, 3 pants) is fairly dry. after laundry i ate breakfast with the fam, bathed quickly and went to meet everyone for our “trip” to Mbouda. we ate well. i got Das’ rear-view mirrors made for the motorbike and i duplicated 2 keys for the main door.
got a chance to speak to Kristen for a bit today. we were caught in the rain waiting to meet everyone for the ride back. she’s really got a great outlook on being here and really doing something... she just gets work done, and well. really admire her.
anywho... we capped the day off at Robert’s birthday party. much food. ate a lot today, and i can’t help but feel a little guilty or at least self-conscious about that. also think about all the amenities we have in general. electricity, solid houses, beds, consumer goods, access to communication. all that.
i didn’t expect to be living this well, really. is this the peace corps experience? i know the answer to that question. it’s not about what you have, but what you make out of it. i still look forward to living simply.
i hear life is simpler in the North. and Diarou, who's from the north, tells me it is beautiful up there. need to get up there to visit and to work. Kristen and i also spoke of the possibility of moving on to another country here in Africa. i don’t know???... i want to be home too much. we’ll see after a year or 2.
oh... Diarou met dit ma mere PREGNANT! she looks it and that explains much.
did laundry this morning. that one light khaki cotton pair of pants is surprisingly tough to wash. sun was out bright, though, so at least everything (3 shirts, 3 pants) is fairly dry. after laundry i ate breakfast with the fam, bathed quickly and went to meet everyone for our “trip” to Mbouda. we ate well. i got Das’ rear-view mirrors made for the motorbike and i duplicated 2 keys for the main door.
got a chance to speak to Kristen for a bit today. we were caught in the rain waiting to meet everyone for the ride back. she’s really got a great outlook on being here and really doing something... she just gets work done, and well. really admire her.
anywho... we capped the day off at Robert’s birthday party. much food. ate a lot today, and i can’t help but feel a little guilty or at least self-conscious about that. also think about all the amenities we have in general. electricity, solid houses, beds, consumer goods, access to communication. all that.
i didn’t expect to be living this well, really. is this the peace corps experience? i know the answer to that question. it’s not about what you have, but what you make out of it. i still look forward to living simply.
i hear life is simpler in the North. and Diarou, who's from the north, tells me it is beautiful up there. need to get up there to visit and to work. Kristen and i also spoke of the possibility of moving on to another country here in Africa. i don’t know???... i want to be home too much. we’ll see after a year or 2.
oh... Diarou met dit ma mere PREGNANT! she looks it and that explains much.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
old blue eyes and lush green hills
8/10/2001:
i didn’t give my cross-cultural presentation today. we split up... most today, some Tuesday. me, Tuesday. did finish the write-up though. need to get it checked for content and translated with the help of our language trainers, Francois and Diarou.
Greg gave a great presentation on pets. very funny! Kristen’s on women and childbirth was great, too. she does everything well. we’re all sitting here in the back room of the bar in Babadjou. will be one of the last weekends we’ve got together. just a couple more Peace & Freedoms in this room.
on the ride back from the summer school in Santa we were listening to Frank Sinatra... surreal being moved by that and yet looking out onto the verdant hills and valleys of the Northwest province.
thought about my house to be and creating a garden around it. flowers and flowers... some veggie plots. probably b/c Rob’s presentation was about crops grown here in our area. i really need to get back into the field and among plants again.
the closest points to epiphanies i’ve gotten have been in the pee-shack at the summer school in among the maize. probably b/c i'm alone, the plants all around, quiet, and swaying in the wind. epiphanies at the pee-shack... what to say???
keep wondering when an epiphany will finally come. probably should stop looking for one. they will come in time. anywho... just want to get somewhere, feel comfortable, and be content about being there... and i’m sure plants will have much to do with that.
i didn’t give my cross-cultural presentation today. we split up... most today, some Tuesday. me, Tuesday. did finish the write-up though. need to get it checked for content and translated with the help of our language trainers, Francois and Diarou.
Greg gave a great presentation on pets. very funny! Kristen’s on women and childbirth was great, too. she does everything well. we’re all sitting here in the back room of the bar in Babadjou. will be one of the last weekends we’ve got together. just a couple more Peace & Freedoms in this room.
on the ride back from the summer school in Santa we were listening to Frank Sinatra... surreal being moved by that and yet looking out onto the verdant hills and valleys of the Northwest province.
thought about my house to be and creating a garden around it. flowers and flowers... some veggie plots. probably b/c Rob’s presentation was about crops grown here in our area. i really need to get back into the field and among plants again.
the closest points to epiphanies i’ve gotten have been in the pee-shack at the summer school in among the maize. probably b/c i'm alone, the plants all around, quiet, and swaying in the wind. epiphanies at the pee-shack... what to say???
keep wondering when an epiphany will finally come. probably should stop looking for one. they will come in time. anywho... just want to get somewhere, feel comfortable, and be content about being there... and i’m sure plants will have much to do with that.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
peace & freedom
i need to step back a bit here and pick up on a thread i seem to have left behind. it's another running theme for me (for us, really) in cameroon. "peace and freedom" is what we called it. we being my stage-mates and i.
stage is french for training. what we were doing for the first 2-3 months in cameroon. stage-mates are the people you spend that time with. you become really close as you stumble together through muddy roads, irregular verbs, dirty latrines and awkward cross-cultural encounters. bonding. in the truest sense of the word.
we were blessed with a thoughtful, funny and relatively diverse group of a dozen trainees in babadjou. all of us were math/science teachers in training, headed for english-speaking or anglophone posts in the NW or SW provinces. there was about twice that many TEFL (teaching english as a foreign language) trainees in a larger university town on the other side of the West province, Dschang. theirs would be francophone posts, somewhere in the 8 french-speaking provinces of cameroon. see the Atlas of Cameroon.
as for peace and freedom... it started in babadjou. and basically stayed within that group. we met every week and we talked. i'll describe that in more detail through my journals. but it didn't end in babadjou. b/c we kept meeting and passing around journals (when we were'nt meeting) for others to share and write in. some of us are still engaging in peace and freedom today. almost 7 years later.
it's hard to describe what these sessions meant to us... so i won't. but it'll come up in my journals. they'll do a better job of capturing how i-we felt at the time. about training and service. about each other. and about peace and freedom. both as a process we engaged in and as goals we were seeking. "our own inner peace and freedom," as one of my stage-mates put it.
stage is french for training. what we were doing for the first 2-3 months in cameroon. stage-mates are the people you spend that time with. you become really close as you stumble together through muddy roads, irregular verbs, dirty latrines and awkward cross-cultural encounters. bonding. in the truest sense of the word.
we were blessed with a thoughtful, funny and relatively diverse group of a dozen trainees in babadjou. all of us were math/science teachers in training, headed for english-speaking or anglophone posts in the NW or SW provinces. there was about twice that many TEFL (teaching english as a foreign language) trainees in a larger university town on the other side of the West province, Dschang. theirs would be francophone posts, somewhere in the 8 french-speaking provinces of cameroon. see the Atlas of Cameroon.
as for peace and freedom... it started in babadjou. and basically stayed within that group. we met every week and we talked. i'll describe that in more detail through my journals. but it didn't end in babadjou. b/c we kept meeting and passing around journals (when we were'nt meeting) for others to share and write in. some of us are still engaging in peace and freedom today. almost 7 years later.
it's hard to describe what these sessions meant to us... so i won't. but it'll come up in my journals. they'll do a better job of capturing how i-we felt at the time. about training and service. about each other. and about peace and freedom. both as a process we engaged in and as goals we were seeking. "our own inner peace and freedom," as one of my stage-mates put it.
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