Wednesday, August 18, 2010

what not to cry over

also 10/6/2002:
mama and i have been going for a short walk in the morning. 25-30 mins, instead of my runs. compromise on cardio for a nice walk and talk. both good for the heart.

today we broached the topic of grief. mama asked if i cried. i replied "that's my business." stupid and inconsiderate of me, yes. but the convo went on. mama is bigger than that.

i apologized later in the afternoon, but she wasn't offended. she explained her point, grief needs to be released. crying does that. else it's like sitting on a time-bomb (as Malidoma Somé suggests in The Healing Wisdom of Africa). she also gave some family examples of death and pent-up grief.

then she spoke about men crying over their women, and vice versa. relationships falter and, indeed, crumble. if your partner wants to leave, then check yourself. if it's you and you can/should change, do so. if it's not, then let her or him go. move on. you're better off without them. don't shed any tears.

mama ended all this by saying that it seemed to her that men now aren't like the men she knew. her father and mine. not that they were more manly b/c they didn't cry... but b/c of what they didn't cry over. Allah y'hdeena! [may God guide/grant us].

No comments:

Post a Comment