Friday, March 6, 2009

saying no

5/11/2002:
Saturday morning. up at school. giving tests for latecomers in 3rd year. i.e. those who came after 2nd term. it's a mixed bunch though. some older students who say they were sick. although i said i would not accept their papers (as this is not a make up), i allowed them to write.

i'm growing increasingly more lenient... am i really growing though? haven't i always been? not just with students. Ma Karin, in all audacity, hit me up for 5000 cfa yesterday. to buy groundnuts and bananas from Befang and then sell them in Wum.

everything told me NO!... my instinct, principles and good judgment. even her manner of approach, explanation and domestic situation. needless to say, i couldn't say no. that, ultimately, is my problem. i can't say no.

5 comments:

  1. would today's BroMo be better at saying "no" ?

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  2. http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/ascent/Issues/Fall-2008/article3.html

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  3. And so, I became American in Africa... by realizing that I always was.

    great line... so true! thanks for sharing this, intelligent.

    salaam :)
    mohamad

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  4. omar,

    am i better at saying "no" now? yes and no. honestly, though... i can't remember if i said yes or no in this situation with ma karin.

    if you read the post i link to above ("sustainability and mercy"), you'll see what saying no could mean.

    there's also the concept of charity, which i refer to in this post:
    http://ramadancompact.blogspot.com/2008/09/giving-and-getting-back.html

    that said, ma karin wasn't asking for charity... she was asking for a loan. there's a difference. i'll share a quote on that later.

    salaam :)
    mohamad

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  5. Comfort the brokenhearted, be gentle to the weak and the needy, console the poor, be lenient with the insolvent, and lend to those who ask you. 'The reward for a loan exceeds that for charity eight times' [Hadith]. This is because a loan is taken only by one who is in need of it.

    Imam Abdallah ibn Alawi al-Haddad – The Book of Assistance, from Chapter on Kindness and Charity (p. 91).

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