sometime he go broke corn, give you

10/26/2002:
Ali came over yesterday. brought me names of the girls in school for the EDDI scholarships, insha'Allah. he stayed a while. there was a brief – very brief – moment when i was unsure what to talk about. i brought up the topic of the dead/dying chickens... that's all it took. 1 hour and 45 minutes later, with Ali talking and my occasional "na true - for sure - na so it be - that is it," we prayed dhuhur [midday prayer] and he left.

what did we discuss? everything! Ali was dropping knowledge. imparting wisdom. seriously. he get sense ya! and a way with words. can turn a phrase like nobody's business. pragmatic. unbiased. witty. honest/forthright. progressive. we/he talked about farmer-grazier conflicts, court-case corruption, endless/useless bribing, fulani-native relations, the Ardu [local Fulani chief] and his people, Ukpwa land issues...

Ali is open and honest. tells it like it is. he'll break down the issues but not leave it at that... he gives his opinion on solutions. what he would've done. simple but direct solutions. and i think that makes all the difference... someone who has the insight into problems but proposed solutions, as well. practical solutions. with compromise and understanding. gotta respect someone like that.

two things he said that i'm not trying to forget and thus practice, insha'Allah:

1. power is with the majority, not the leader. it is with the people. (this was in reference to going to leaders to work out farmer-grazier conflicts instead of working them out as neighbors... with the people... i think???) a wise leader follows his people as much as they follow him.
   
2. and strength is in family/community. nowhere else. a man with no family is without true allies. and often without strength.
   

let me end with a memorable quote, on the amicable solution to farmer-grazier issues based on working them out as neighbors – without involving the higher-ups. "you know, sometime he go broke corn, give you." [i.e. the farmer will share his corn with the grazier]. and that classic Ali laugh and wink.

you're the PCV!

8/22/2002:
look, listen, speak and do... you pick the order, you're the PCV!

grievances

11/21/2001:
been a little while since i've written here. guess i’m adjusting to the Ramadan schedule. my APCD came around a week early for site visit. he and our PCMO [Peace Corps Medical Officer]. no big deal. house and yard were clean. mosquito net wasn’t up. the Doctor wasn’t overly concerned about that. said i should get it up though.

the APCD observed my Year 2 EE lesson on Biotic Interactions. no TELE-aids today, of course. no big deal. he said it went fine. it did. i tried to talk to him about some of my concerns but nothing came out or across clearly. GTTC issues. house issues. site issues. they’re not really ISSUES, just things i’d like him to know about. things a good volunteer “should” (?) be critical about. but, again, nothing came out right.

not surprising when i think about it, though. just finished writing a Peace & Freedom entry about it. the APCD only wants to hear that we’re happy, healthy, safe... and working to some extent. all else bounces off his shield of “i’m the APCD, the man with all the answers.” that’s not fair though, b/c i suppose that’s the case with Admin in general. only PCVL Mike has sat and listened enough (and empathized... i guess that’s the key) to allow me to vent with satisfaction. the rest of the PCVs too, of course.

it’s funny how we learn, with time out here, who to vent about things to. it’s sad that the people who listen are only the ones in our shoes and, in many ways, as helpless to do something about the status quo as us. so we learn to bite our tongues and keep all those things we want changed (no matter how trivial or grand) inside... we just say what they want to hear. the easy/simple/clean/comfortable answer. “no, all is well... no complaints.” God forbid we be dubbed complainers.

it’s sad b/c that’s exactly how things don’t get done. how they don’t get changed. strange how we adapt to so much of the culture. even the notion that you can’t change things... at least not with your voice/tongue/words. that’s too bad. b/c it’s a good thing in American society. all the higher-ups need critical, constructive and regular feedback. here it’s not thought of as feedback but complaints. and it’s not wanted and looked into but dealt with on the spot with some half-assed answer. “good, on to the next point.” bounces off people like a dud.

only once have complaints (no i’ll use grievances) been dealt with effectively... our 'gripe-session' at the end of stage with the CD. but you get the sense that he listened and took in the difficult, uneasy answers b/c he could do something about them. would be quick/easy for him to follow up and change things. so is everyone else who has grievances bounce off them just doing so b/c they really can’t change things? or don’t want to go through the trouble of getting the ball rolling to do so?

this has been a journal entry about grievances and the art of accepting/handling them. this journal entry itself is a grievance. not to some higher authority that can change things. but to/for myself. at least i listen. at least i let myself vent. at least i don’t attempt to answer every grievance even when i can’t. at least i can admit that some things cannot be easily answered or realistically/effectively/efficiently dealt with. but i listen and i let myself speak my mind.